Saturday, January 23, 2010

Just zip it already!

The memory part of the female brain is an amazing thing. It stores
birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, what Junior was wearing when he
took his first step, the correct dosage the vet prescribed for the
dog's flea bath and such type of clutter that men would rather clear
their minds of to concentrate on matters of more relevant import.

But while this isn't neccessarily a bad thing, (Memory is after all a
very integral part of any technical set-up,) trust something in the
female make-up to find ways of making it a bad thing.

And in this case, it is the nagging.

This arises from the fact that while women are indeed are good at
keeping memories, they prefer negative memories to positive ones.

Due to this, we have a situation whereby her head has more than its
reasonable share of negative vibes. Negative vibes are unhealthy, and
letting them out is the reason why psychiatry is by far the most
profitable field in the medical industry.

Unfortunately, shrinks don't come cheap, and even then, she is highly
unlikely to think she requires their services. But these negative
vibes are there and have to come out, so you end up taking the
shrink's place on the receiving end of the negative vibes.

When a man is slighted, forgiveness will come with the relative speed
of the Middle East peace process. But you can be sure that unless it
is something collossal, like say an insult on his mother's honor, he
will forget about the slight in no time flat.

Women on the other hand are wired a little differently. So were you
immensely relieved whenshe bought the tale that your lip-lock with her
best friend on her bed the other day was nothing but a case of
mouth-to-mouth resucitation? Well, don't act surprised when she brings
up the incident at your 20th college re-union party.

And that, I'm afraid, is guaranteed to be an incredibly uncomfortable

A women will remember that you broke your promise to take her to
Amboseli the previous month, but conveniently forget that you renewed
her subscription for the gym on that very day you were suppossed to
take the trip. She will belittle and berate you about the limited size
of your living quarters, but unless you bring up the fact that half
your salary has been meeting her tuition fees at the university for
the past four years, then it will pass unmentioned.

Throw in the fact that science has proved women speak about 75000
words a day to man's 15000 words, and you begin to appreciate the
quagmire that nagging is for us.

It is better to live alone on the roof, King Solomon once said, than
to share a house with a nagging woman.

This was a King whose experience with women was both prolific and
legendary, and considering that he was like only the wisest person
that ever lived, I'm guessing it isn't too much strain on the the
imagination to assume he knew what he was talking about.

And it is an opinion most men whole-heartedly agree with.

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