Saturday, March 6, 2010

Miss Independent.

Faults with women sometimes tends to jump out at me so readily, it would actually be boring if it weren't so frustrating. All I have to do at times is randomly pick out any woman and observe her, and in five seconds flat I'm guaranteed to have spotted a quirk or two that puts a slip of sandpaper on my nerve endings.

Recently, a nephew of mine was celebrating his Birthday, and I took him out for a treat at a nearby restaurant. There, we ran into a lady friend of mine I haven't seen in ages and naturally, we started to catch upon each other's lives, kids, spouses and all.  I happen to share a couple of family features with my nephew and so she assumed that he was my son, an assumption I made no attempt to correct.

But when I asked her about herself and whether she had already started her family, Her response might have come straight from a basic feminist operational handbook. No, she told me, she did not have a hubby or kids because she was an 'Independent' career woman with her own car, fully mortgaged house and loads of cash in the bank. She didn't see the need to curtail her independence with some demanding hubby or a squealing toddler and besides, men according to her share several characteristics with that creature which has devout Moslems contemplating murder.

Instantly, whatever pleasantness that might have come from bumping into her evaporated and I wished I had resisted my nephew's heart warming pleas to take him out that morning. With the alacrity of a late intern, I hastily mumbled something about the lateness of the hour and said goodbye, hoping never to see her again in this lifetime.

Could somebody please tell me what exactly is the naturally occurring hallucinogen in women that makes them associate financial stability with a right to bash men, all in the name of being 'independent'? If you get around enough, you must have come across the type. Those who just because their presence anywhere is announced by the hoot of a Prado, expect society to always hold them in awe and deference; those ones who believe they are the most independent thing since December 12th just because the figures in their bank balances are followed by more zeroes than I ever accumulated in mathematics tests back in high school. 

But then again, what else would you expect from minds at such an elementary stage of evolution?

Independence, as far as I know, is the ability and appreciation of the ability to do things for oneself, borne out of freedom from control by another entity. Now, basing on this definition, do we really have anything like a truly 'Independent' woman?

Indeed, there are very many women who wouldn't mind doing things for themselves. But nevertheless, I am extremely confident in my assertion that more often than not, women would much rather we did things for them. Have you ever noticed that despite their bleats about being subjugated, it is always the authoritative, assertive alpha males that women are always falling over for? Shout all you like, but deep inside every woman revels in being dominated by a figure of authority, financial stability notwithstanding.

This independence is borne out of freedom of control by another entity. On this count, how well do our ladies fare? For a man, financial stability is indeed a source of a considerable amount of pride, but a man mostly seeks wealth so that he can be comfortable. Power, respect and authority may be the more manifest goals, but ultimately, a man wants his money to work for him. But for women, wealth is a means to prove that they too can be like men. It is their way of getting back to a male-dominated society that they feel is to pay for their bitterness from life's frustrations.

In this case, the 'independence' they so much brag about is not independence in the truest sense of the word since it is controlled by another entity: a drive to prove themselves. They can get what they want, yes, but mostly what they crave for is acknowledgment of their capabilities, and they would be prepared to give up anything if such acknowledgment were to be obtained. To this end, it means this 'independence' is simply a figment of their imagination; they are still shackled by a need to be acknowledged by, ironically, men.

So a piece of advice, my dear ladies, from a quote by the great Lebanese poet and philosopher, Kahlil Gibran. "Doing what you like is freedom. Liking what you do is happiness. If you want true independence, remove male bashing from the equation and do something because you actually like doing it. That way, your independence is pure, and anything else such as financial stability is simply a bonus.

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