Miss Mboch

First of all, I'd like to make one thing clear. Cheating is bad, and if you feel you need to have sex with more than one person, then you should either not have a romantic attachment to both of them, or you should be married to both of them.

That said, let me now begin by apologizing for one apology I'm never going to make: I'll never ever apologize for behaving like a man and holding the attitudes, values and perspectives of a man, for the simple reason that I am a man. But then again, I highly doubt I'd change my behavior, attitudes, values and perspectives even if I had the power to do so, and any female that has a problem with that can go take a running jump.

So being the man that I am and conforming to the dynamics of Society and Biology, I have a pretty clear idea about what I'd expect from a marital relationship. Society tuned me to demand respect, deference, commitment and responsibility from my spouse and in return, I was supposed to reciprocate by availing to her corresponding amounts of the same. Biology on its part put in me the desire and expectation for good, fulfilling and regular sex.

Should these two dynamics strike a balance in a marital union, harmony reigns and a stable relationship is virtually guaranteed. We succeed in building a solid, functional entity that gives both of us a sense of fulfillment and a desire to protect and maintain such a precious gem.

But thanks to W omen's Lib, Affirmative Action, Gender Balance and other equally disastrous concepts of the feminist catastrophe`, this balance is in society is facing a kind of threat it has never encountered before. Women are now demanding equality in the distribution of duties instead of stressing equitability where responsibility is appropriated basing on ability. They forget that all the responsibilities they had before, all the activities relations and interplays within the home that they have been involved in since time immemorial, are vital bonds that hold the basic unit if society, ie the family, together.

Instead, they develop this strange notion that a fat payslip at the end of the month would compensate their forbearance of these very necessary responsibilities and even grant them a few extra liberties, such as the re-arrangement of the power structure of society with them at the top. They choose to spend all their time strategizing on how to consolidate their new-found position and delegate more and more of their household duties to house-helps.

And this creates a problem. Two problems, as a matter of fact. One, instead of a marital union being a strong, vibrant arrangement that is mutually beneficial and an object of pride, it instead becomes an unstable, non-functioning entity that is more disgusting than alluring. And two, the needs that the marital union was supposed to fulfill in the first place don't simply disappear. They are still there, and they still need to be fulfilled.

I still need to experience the respect, commitment and deference from the person I love, even if only for my ego's sake, but now that I'm seeing less and less of my spouse, I begin to associate my well-cooked and timely-served food, well-kept house, neat, well-pressed clothes and good-mannered children more and more with my house-help than my wife, and along with it goes the gratitude for these small pleasures of life that really matter.

And I still need sex. Good, fulfilling and regular sex. But I can hardly count on my wife to be in the mood nowadays because her activities are taking a heavy to on her, and worse still, she starts to have sex only to indulge me. Now, let me tell you, no man except a very desperate one, appreciates sympathy sex. Sex should be both mutual and consensual, I will doubtless start feeling short-changed and cast my attentions elsewhere. One guess whom I'd likely go for!

Women make the mistake of viewing house-helps as lesser human beings, working machines who come in, work, get paid and leave. They forget that these are actually flesh-and-bone humans with feelings, desires and ambitions. So instead of CSWs who are dangerous, illegal and could go through my reputation like a tornado through a shack, or female workmates who carry more baggage than a Cucu at Karatina and are, if anything, more strung up than my wife, it's only natural that I'd be drawn to the timid, bashful and reserved house-help like a sailor to a siren.

In conclusion,I reiterate. My personal views towards cheats aren't exactly charitable. But just because something is bad doesn't mean its justifications should be dismissed offhand. And until women learn to take their marriages seriously, then they shouldn't keep asking why men stray.